Stoke’s Schizophrenia, Statistics and No Shawcross Redemption

October 23, 2011 by   Filed under: Arsenal FC, Premier League

Greetings fellow Gooners!

In about an hour’s time we will be watching the return to the Emirates of Stoke City, possibly the most schizophrenic club in Europe right now! With a run of results ranging from a 1-0 home win over Liverpool, a 1-1 draw with Manchester United to a 2-0 loss to Swansea and topping their Europa League group, this really is a team with no real consistency to their results. Hell, they even managed to rid the Carling Cup of the Spuds!

So who or what exactly are Stoke these days? Still the same violent thugs of seasons past? The statistics would suggest not if the Premier League Fair Play table is anything to go by, with the Potters climbing from 20th position, the very bottom, in 2008-09 to 15th the following season, 13th last season and currently find themselves riding high in 8th position. So is Pulis gradually getting rid of the dirty, fouling nature of the club or is it something else entirely?

Well, let’s see how Arsenal have fared in that same period, shall we?

2008-09 saw us finish in 8th position, tied with the “Title-less For Fifty Years” from the brothel down the road. The following season we experienced the giddy heights of 4th position, whilst last season saw us plummet to a filthy, dirty 17th place! This season finds us currently holding the dubious honour of propping up the table in 20th place!

So, aside from demonstrating that the Fair Play league is a not much more than a lot of mumbo-jumbo and statistical absurdity, I think it safe to assume that it is not a particularly good barometer of whether or not a team is “dirty”.

And that really is the key here…The difference between cold statistics and cold reality. When that bumbling oaf and serial twat Shawcross performed his open leg surgery on Ramsey, causing the immediate cancellation of over a year of the young Welshman’s football career, Stoke should have been thrown out the competition altogether. At the very least, I personally would have thrown Shawcross out of professional football, and not just because I am a Gooner either, but because this animal is a serial offender and football, on ANY level, simply doesn’t need idiots like him around.

Those like Pulis and, of all people, Rooney, who come out with the ridiculous claim of “he is not that type of player”, are clearing overlooking a swathe of evidence to the contrary. A few classic Shawcross moments such as the following put things into a little perspective:

Ryan Shawcross Not Being That Kind Of Player

Yes, that was Shawcross almost kicking Scott Parker’s leg off and having the cheek afterwards to try and claim that he got the ball.

How about this one:

Ryan Shawcross STILL Not Being That Kind Of Player

That was Shawcross not being that type of player again whilst out on loan at Royal Antwerp.

Or how about this one:

Ryan Shawcross STILL Not Being That Kind Of Player…AGAIN!

OK, I know it’s AdePayMeMore and that automatically offers the temptation to smirk, but we shouldn’t and I won’t! This example of Shawcross not being that type of player took place off the pitch with the Togan going absolutely nowhere with the ball. What is the defence of this tackle? The fact that he didn’t get anywhere near the ball is one thing, the fact that he might claim he was trying is another altogether. Even if he DID get a touch on the ball, which he was clearly never going to do, is the potential danger to the other player involved in the tackle justifiable by the possibility that the dirty fecker who might have broken a players leg over a ball that was out of danger, indeed, out of play?!

Throw in the perfect example of why the footballing authorities felt the need to outlaw the sliding tackle from behind, his tackle on Francis Jeffers that left the forward out of the game for 3 months, and the type of player he is becomes more and more clear by the minute. Aside from the claims of his innocence, the FA themselves do themselves no favours. For example; in the very same month that he destroyed the ligaments in Jeffer’s leg, they awarded him player of the month and the referee, having been given strict instructions by football’s governing bodies to clamp down hard on the tackle from behind, didn’t so much as brandish a card!

It would be funny if it hadn’t been so obvious that young Aaron’s injury was more an inevitability waiting to occur than simply an accident waiting to happen.

Anyway, enough of that neanderthal muppet. To waste any more time on this topic is to take away from the fact that the Mighty Arsenal are at home today, fortress Emirates as it has recently become, and about time too!

Injury news is exactly as described yesterday. After all the furore over whether or not Robin van Persie needs a rest, I have a sneaking feeling that Wenger might just leave him out for this one. Putting him up against the knuckle-dragger with his injury record may simply be considered asking for trouble too! In his absence I am actually a little unsure as to who becomes second choice. Theo Walcott has been begging for the chance to get in the centre, although we also have Park and Chamakh. The former has yet to play for us in the Premier League and whilst the latter has actually been on the pitch, he has basically failed to play for us too! I would like to see Theo get the nod, so I will go with that for the lack of any other obvious options!

Of course, that leaves a little hole on the right hand side of the attack. Will Wenger go with Oxlade-Chamberlain or slip Rosicky out there? Personally I would rest Rosicky for this game too, for much the same reasons as RvP, so The Ox gets on my wish list, even if may not quite make it onto the team sheet!

Santos will continue at left back with the flourishing partnership of Mertesacker and Koscielny in the centre and the terrifying proposition of Johan Djourou filling the empty space left by Sagna and Jenkinson’s injuries.

Truth be told, Djourou played well enough against Marseille, although it wasn’t as if the French side were putting any particular pressure on the defence in the second half, and his cross into the box did lead to the winning goal for Ramsey. I am not saying that his name anywhere near an Arsenal team sheet doesn’t make me nervous, just that we should be balanced about these things wherever possible!

In midfield I think we will go for industry over creativity and so Tomas Rosicky will likely start the game on the bench with Ramsey getting the chance to look his attacker in the eye and Gervinho will probably get the nod over Arshavin. That said, the recent Arshavin/Arsene love-in was maybe the manager’s way of explaining that he intends to pick the Russian even though he is clearly one of the most out of form players in the EPL!

So, the team will possibly look like this:

Schitophrenic Stoke, Statisics and No Shawcross Redemption

In terms of a final score prediction, the unpredictability of both teams in recent times makes it hard to get any real Mystic Meg Moment going, such is the vast array of possibilities depending on “which” Arsenal or “which” Stoke turn up on the day. My head says get through this with 3 points, regardless of performance, and that will do us nicely but my heart, as ever, is screaming out for a good win to show that we are still moving forwards and to also exact some sort of justice in light of some bad results and the loss of Ramsey. So, head says 1-0 whilst the heart says a 3-1 win to reverse the result in May that saw the end of our title challenge.

Let’s just hope that Shawcross can keep his feet at least somewhere near the ball and that all 11 of our players finish the 90 minutes unscathed. The last thing we need is another injury to add to the pile!

And on that note, I bid you farewell.

Come on you All Limbs Intact By The End, Pottery Smashing Goooonnnneeerrrrssss!

Comments

2 Comments on "Stoke’s Schizophrenia, Statistics and No Shawcross Redemption"

  1. ArthurTheGooner on Sun, 23rd Oct 2011 2:38 pm 

    What a game I do have admit it looked very bleak before Saint Van Persie came on and turned that magic switch on!

    Mason got the wrong call when he gave them a foul which led to their goal. Despite this we were the usual sloppy on defending from set pieces. After the break I kind of thought to myself, is this going to be again one of those afternoons?

    Saint Van Persie arrived and turned everything around, what a player he is for us hence I call the above. We certainly don’t want to loose him. Walcott had a bad game even though my stream kept on braking up I think he certainly had better days. He needs to step up if he wants to keep his place in the first eleven.

    Great game for the others all around I think especially to Gervinho and Song yet another solid display!

    Come on you REDS!

  2. edu on Sun, 23rd Oct 2011 7:08 pm 

    what can we do without rvp? and the gods of injuries seems to have forgoten him.cant wait for him to inflict more pain to chavs…..

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